a dreamer’s pensieve

……………………………………….
1. Depression.
2. Nostalgia.
3. Anger.
4. Worries.

Thank God for making me feel well na.. =D GOD is good!

Tomorrow will be Saturday again. I don’t know if I’m going to Tagum or what.. I’m kinda sick kasi right now.. and well.. I have to take care of myself first.. Because if not, I dunno what will happen to me. I don’t want to have more of those asthma attacks.. Never again, God willing.. =D

Since last Monday, I am travelling along the streets of R.Castillo to fetch a friend who’s living in Lanang. My friend is not retarded or what that I really have to fetch her.. =) She’s not really familiar with the city streets.. and well.. naa mi raket karon and we are partners.. With that, I really have to run for an extra-mile.. R. Castillo’s such a very dusty and smokey place.. that whenver I go along those roads, my allergies strike back again, making me cough and wheeze and well.. making me expect asthma to visit me again.. too bad that it’s the easiest and shortest way to get to Lanang.. So upon arriving at Agdao Flyover, I cover my nose and mouth na to minimize the dusts that enters my nasopharynx and oral cavity..

R. Castillo’s again ..super duper dusty and smokey place.. and not to mention the huge traffic and smoke-belching trucks that the place experiences. I just pity the flowers and plants that are planted in the street islands because they are all-covered with dusts.. I pity the customers of the roadside eateries because they get to eat their meals with matching dusts in the background..  and darn.. the tricycles that are coming here and there are causing much noise pollution. Even if I really hate the place.. still.. I have no choice but to travel on that road in early mornings.. kasi naman.. money-making project ‘to! hehe.. but if this will end na.. and soon it will .. I’d rather make travel through JP Laurel nalang.. kasi.. madaming sceneries.. malinis ang road.. hindi dusty.. and hindi mausok.. it’s a friendly road for a dust allergic like me.. =)

God has its own way of cheering me up.. and well.. it is way, way better than anybody else’s way of making me happy. Now, im feeling better.. yesterday was one of the saddest moments of my life and i dont want to remember it..

i thank God for my tutees..even with yesterday’s circumstances, my tutees’ conversations made me feel better.. and shax.. today’s adventures are very good– even if i got almost stranded in a place that is out of town.

i want to be a missionary someday.. and well.. i guess, what I am doing with the youth ministry right now is my very first step in achieving my dream. Every Saturday, I have decided to go beyond Davao City’s borderline .. to go to Tagum to facilitate the youth ministry of our local church there. In Tagum, I am serving around 15 young people and well, for me it is already a big and significant number. I have rescheduled our Saturday meetings– That instead of afternoon activities, we will do it in the morning.. this change is due to my piano tutorial lessons in Greenbox every 2pm til 4pm in Saturdays.. and this change would mean waking up earlier than usual to go for an early bus ride bound for Tagum so that I’ll arrive there on time for the Youth Activity.. The YA starts at 9am and ends at 11am..

Anyway, this morning was our first time to try the morning sched. I arrived there before 9am. I have to ride a tryc pa before I could get myself to Mankilam (church loc).. It was my first time to ride trycs that I am really unsure of where I am going.. and darn.. ang sikip2x.. oh well.. If I really want to be a missionary, I should learn to become content of what the place has to offer. I should learn to adjust. I am doing this not because of self interest and/or happiness, but I am doing this to glorify our Lord. .. =)

fast forward…>>

After the activity, I decided to head back home so that I will not be late for work @2pm.. I went to NCCC Mall Tagum first so that I could buy a Chuckie and a cellphone cord/accessory/(looks like an ID holder..gets mo na yun..)..anyway, when I checked my wallet.. All Ive got were receipts from past purchases, nothing more and nothing less.. When I checked my pocket.. all i have were four one-peso coins, three 25-centavo coins, and two ten-centavo coins.. Take note, the minimum fare for a tricycle ride is 7Php..and even if I go back to Mankilam and ask for the elder’s help, the change that I have wouldnt be enough, and if I will ask them to pay for my ride, it would cost them 20Php kasi "pakyaw" eh plus the bus ride is around 60 pesos pa.. so.. I got horrified. I am almost out of cellphone load and away from home. I almost freaked out.. but.. thank God, I managed to clear my mind up! So.. when I checked my wallet again.. I found out that I brought along with me my MTV Debit Card (swipe me baby..=>) hhmm.. I asked the security personnels of NCCC Tagum if they have a METROBANK or an EQUITABLE PCI BANK in Tagum.. and good thingy! there is! and well.. luckily, these two banks are only located to just one place.. near the Tagum Centro.. but wait.. it is about 2.5kms away from NC3 and remember.. it was 11.30am then.. I am under the heat of the sun..!! haha.. awesome! so.. I have no choice.. I walked my way to Equitable PCI.. withdrawn cash and went for a bus ride bound for Davao.

While I was on the bus, I kept on remembering on what happened to me.. and what God was thinking of me while I was there confused on what to do.. and well.. I thank Him for He made a genius and a very patient person out of me.. I dont feel so alone anymore.. not like yesterday.. God proved me that He is there for my comfort and rescue..

and I thank God for making me laugh today even if it’s myself that I am laughing at.

No ZINGER please.. haha..

this song is dedicated to myself..

a bad day

Where is the moment when we need it the most You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey They tell me your passion's gone away And I don't need no carrying on 

You stand in the line just to hit a new low You're faking a smile with the coffee to goYou tell me your life's been way off line You're falling to pieces every time And I don't need no carrying on 

Cause you had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day The camera don't lie You're coming back down and you really don't mind You had a bad day You had a bad day 

Well you need a blue sky holiday The point is they laugh at what you say And I don't need no carrying on 

You had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day The camera don't lie You're coming back down and you really don't mind You had a bad day You had a bad day 

Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out Wrong You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that Strong Well I'm not wrong 

So where is the passion when you need it the most Oh you and I You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost 

Cause you had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day You see what you like And how does it feel, one more time You had a bad day You had a bad day You had a bad day

it’s so fun being in greenbox.. and yeah of course.. with all those kids around.. *smiles* .. they call me "teacher kai" and most of the time, they just call me "teach"…wala lang.. i dont want to post all the details on what happened to me in the tutorials center today… hehe.. sikreto para bibo.. !! =)

Get Here

You can reach me by railway
You can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane
You can reach me with your mind

You can reach me by caravan
Cross the desert like an Arab man
I don’t care how you get here
Just get here if you can

You can reach me by sailboat
Climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down slope
Into these arms of mine

You can jump on a speedy dolt
Cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don’t care how you get here
Just get here if you can

There are hills and mountains between us
Always somethin’ to get over
But if I have my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer…

There are hills and mountains between us
Always somethin’ to get over
But if I have my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer…

You can windsurf into my life
Take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon
But you better make it soon

You can reach me by caravan
Cross the desert like an Arab man
I don’t care how you get here
Just get here if you can

**note: this is one of my favorite songs… =p

moral support!
moral support!
moral support!

hehehe…

my younger bro’s  graduating today from his vocational class.. well, im so proud of him.. mabuti pa sya, may naabot na.. hehehe.. not like moi and my kuya.. hahaha..

so..

we are all preparing for his big day..

so..

moral support!

moral support!

oh yeah..

moral support!

hhmm..

i just love my bro……

"HOY!" was my father’s way of waking me up this morning. I was so surprised and got a little shocked with my pop’s alarm. Surprised because it was his first time to wake me up that way, and shocked because I was still having one of my sweetest dreams and he woke me up. I felt like getting back to sleep then and finish my dream. . . and I remembered that I have a date with my friend WIZ today.. I hurriedly searched and picked up my mobile phone and found out that she had already made some calls  (and missed it) and sent messages to check if I was already up. We planned to meet up around 9am and I woke up at 8:30am.. ho ho ho ho.. I told her to take her time because I still have to do some website business. I went out of the house around 10:30am with my wet hair half-done. I haven’t eaten dinner last night because I was so lazy to cook for myself. I haven’t eaten breakfast because my mom refused to make one. haha.. so then I was hungry.. and yeah, starving when I met up with WIZ.. Good thing that she is one of my friends who is so concerned about my weight loss and poor health status and that she encouraged me to eat lotsa food during lunch.

I had lotsa chit-chat with her and we ended up laughing our lungs out (with matching boom-boom sounds because we both have cough and colds..nyahaha)..Maybe I was too bored yesterday that I felt like talking and talking and laughing at the same time. I am so extra joyful today.. maybe because I got to eat right. haha..speaking about eating and gaining weight.. I think I will be gaining weight again.. Wiz and her sisters are encouraging me to get back on my usual weight last year.. They say I look better when I have some "taba".. hehe.. so, I’m taking their advice..

I really had fun today.. and I’m glad I was able to smile again and laugh again.

I’m sick.. but I still wanted to smile and have fun.. it was my birthday you know.. I am already 20.. no more birthday parties.. no more nightout gimmicks.. im getting older now.. hhmm.. being serious is one thing that i am putting into mind.. but im not pressing hard on it.. i might die when i do.. hehe.. it’s not like me when i take things so seriously — it is my other "self" when i get too serious.. that’s why i get sick.. because my body cannot adapt to the sudden change of outlook in life.. but i want my brain cells to function in the way i wanted it.. i want to grow up.. be mature and stop being an idiot.. hehe.. yes i was once an idiot.. the last time i became one was yesterday.. and i am getting better everyday.. improving is the best word that would describe me..

i had my vacation in wiz’s house since last sunday afternoon.. no no no… i havent been to surigao again,.. they’re already here in town and they have already moved here for forever i bet.. im happy that one of my closest friends are already here.. haha.. not just only one but all six of them… tita melbz, kuya amar, kuya peter, mona, enen, and wiz.. yes.. they are my friends.. and im glad i have spent my 3-night vacation there.. i had my asthma attack again last night.. good thing that i was with wiz that she took care of me… thanks for that.. i still am not feeling better now but i manage to smile.. maybe i am just thinking too hard and spending my days like some kind of a superhero.. carmi, forgive me again.. i know you will be scolding me because of this… hehe.. but i dont want to stop working.. ill show up at greenbox tomorrow.. hhmm.. im gonna be working again.. blessings to me!

Instructions:
Name ten of life’s simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick
ten people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to
use things that someone else has already used.

1. Stargazing
- I just love the stars! I thank God for making these things.. and
creating some patterns of it.. my favorite constellation: big dipper.

2. Crawling Insects -
Some people I know are well, afraid of these creatures.. but i seem to
have great interest to these things..This really amazes me.. even with
their "littleness" and fragility, they too have this..LIFE.

3. The Sky -
Blue skies, smiling at me.. nothing but blue skies do i see.. hehe..
Whenever i feel so stressed-out, pressured, and troubled..i always take
time to look up the sky and.. hooooh! breathe.. the skies always remind
me that there are still lotsa things that is in-stored for me in the
future.. lots of things.. greater and bigger things..

4. The sound of Rushing River - When
we were living in Wellsprings Vill, our house was situated near the
rivers of Cat. Pequeno and Grande.. The sounds they make, made me sleep
real well during the night.. it gives me a relaxed mood, which i badly
need most of the time.. and I thank God for that!

5. Jokes and Humor - Years
back, I was doing a research on the first man who cracked a joke…but,
i failed to find that person. hhmm.. I thank God for creating humor..
for creating fun.. for making people develop this potential.. I wonder
how will life be without it.. and this really is one of life’s pleasure.

6. Shampoo, Soap, Toothbrush, Toothpaste, and other toiletries -  haha.. These are manmade products which are very essential to living.

7. Starfishes -
This is one of the things that amused me when I was still a kid.. I
used to collect many of them after every beach outing and put them in
my little aquarium.. but they die days later..because they have to live
in salt water areas.. and my aquarium’s a combination of water and
chlorine, and they can’t survive in that..but well.. i take pleasure in
looking at them.. their tiny er– feet. and starfishes really amazes
me..

8. Morning  breeze and sunshine - I
just love morning sunshine and its breeze.. Mornings remind me that the
Lord is giving me another chance to grow and live.. everyday is a
blessing, even how bad the day started and how disappointing it is at
the end, still, i consider it a blessing..

9. Pictures - Pictures are memories that are captured..no need to elaborate.. hehe..

10. Warm hugs-  We need a dose of this every now and then to keep us going.. Of course, warm hugs from close friends and family lang.. hehe..

so.. it’s my turn to tag..

YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED!

cute.. hehe..

nice..

cool.